Never believe a guy who wants to play poker for money that claims he doesn't know the game.  Also, never believe a friend who says "I have never caught a large mouth bass before - I'm jinxed".  My close friend, Kelly, told me his sob story about never having hooked a bass.  I decided to break out the spinning gear, plastic worms and heavy weights.

We went to Lake Piru last weekend (August 26th, 2007), rented a boat and bought some night-crawlers.  I showed him how to Carolina rig and we started bouncing plastic on the bottom.  Nothing was hitting in the first half an hour or so, and Kelly switched to the live bait on the same rigging.  In less than 10 minutes he caught his first bass.  The camera-phone captured the moment - I added my mood meter on the right.  Green is good.

Yeah Kelly! I am truly happy for him.

Ok, cool. You caught number 2.

I told him where I had found a hole - he cast to it - first cast: Got it.  Notice my mood meter dropping.

This one pissed me off.

He set his pole down (line in the water) to adjust the anchor.  His back was to the rod when I see it begin to bounce off the side of the boat.  "You're getting a bite!" I yell.  Nothing... he doesn't hear me.  I yell it two more times before he turns around.  No hook set, just reels in number 3.  Now I'm getting irritated.  To make matters worse, he keeps asking me to take these pictures!  Mood meter - red is not good.

Beginners luck?!?!

A cast prior to this one,  he was faking a bite while hung up on the bottom.  I didn't believe he had number 4 until it got close to the boat.  Yeah, I took this picture too... while my help-the-newbie love is plummeting towards serious dislike.

It's getting harder to fake a smile...

A mere two minutes before this picture was taken he says "we can go anytime you want".  I replied "Ok, how about a couple more casts".  When this one was landed I informed Mr. Kelly that he no longer had any say in when we left.  Catching 5 fish to my skunk meant that he had lost the right to vote for leaving.

FINALLY!!!

Ok, Kelly.  Now we can leave.  Notice the mood meter improvement... a minor improvement.  I still can't stand him anymore.  I don't care that he was in my wedding.  I don't care that he has been a close friend for years... this is fishing and it's always personal!  My smile is forced.

Once we get back to my place, I am exhausted.  Teaching Kelly to fish has really tuckered me out.  So what does he do to thank me?  He takes the below picture, labels it "GOOD HOST" and emails it to  me.

Never trust a guy with a camera phone.

What a jack-ass!  It's a good thing that I love him like a brother.

Wanna hit it again, Kelly?  Spot me 3 fish  =]